Ramblings of a Weight-Loser

6 Jan

I’ve fought with my weight basically my whole life – not much of a fight, the weight always won. I tried countless diets/fads…. either spending hoards of money on them, and sometimes just copying them from finding on-line. My first “diet” was the Super Shaper 2000. I still remember that one – I was a teen then. FA, Weight Watchers, Herbal Magic, Weight Watchers again, Curves Diet, Atkins Diet, Cayenne Lemonade Diet (OK that one lasted 4 hours), Dr. Bernstein Diet, Low Carb, Gluten Free, Organic, Whole Foods, HCG Drops, Sensa, Skinny Fibre, and Visalus… Green Tea Diet, Hamburger Soup Diet, Slimfast, Slimquick, Dr. Phils Diet, Dr. Oz’s Diets… the list goes on – I even “gave it to god” for him to worry about – guess what? He was too busy!

The amount of weight lost with these methods varied between gaining 10 lbs, and Losing 60lbs (once, maybe twice). I usually followed the plan as best I could, with major derailings along the way, eventually to the point of giving up, gaining all that weight back + an extra 10-20 lbs.  The amount of weight I lost without a commercial/fad diet was 0. My entire life.

I spent much of last year reflecting and making conclusions as to why these diets didn’t work, and the thought started to enter my mind – that this was something I had to do on my own – without a book telling me what to do, a website with forbidden food lists, or demands to do silly things. I knew deep down that these diets were only a temporary fix – a patch on a tire if you will, that will eventually blow off and create even more damage. The though of living my life on a “diet” (even a maintaining diet), or gaining all that weight back + more scared me. 

People told me, you can do it on your own (or they told me THEY couldn’t do it on their own), If you could, or if I could have, we would have by now. Right? 

The conclusion I ultimately came to is: You either do it, or you don’t. I knew the rewards and consequences of both actions, however dramatic/possibly life threatening. 

I didn’t act on this right away, in fact I would say I started this thought process in spring 2013. I gave one more fad, one more kick (which of course didn’t last) and then struggled. Gained weight, maintained, and probably gained some more. I had 2 weddings to go to last year -Mine and my sisters, and I literally couldn’t lose a pound. No matter how hard I tried, my motivation would last days, at most. 

I always thought that when I had a big motivation (and what’s a bigger motivation than a family wedding, or in fact your own wedding?) the weight would fly off, and I would be permanently motivated. Far from this happened! I do not regret not losing weight before my wedding – in fact I feel like my husband married the person he proposed to. I feel like my relatives weren’t talking about how much weight I had lost (and then talk later about how much I gained back in the months to follow). I am happy that I got married in my current body, instead of a cosmetic temporary change. 

Finally,  exactly 2 months after my wedding, I got down to it. This is the time. I am young, I want to make changes to my life, and I do NOT want to diet. I am a newlywed, and have a new life, new beginnings. More importantly, I came to realize that the changes had to come from me, and only me. 

Either do it, or don’t. 

So I did! To this day I’m just over losing 25 lbs, in 2.5 months! I have had great days, and I have had no so great days. I haven’t fallen off the wagon (although I’m teaching myself to believe there is no wagon to fall off of, and no wagon to get back on. Just keep making good choices). 

While I’m not dieting, I have guidelines I’ve created for myself, and tools and support, and I use them on a daily basis. Sometimes things slip and don’t work but I just make adjustments and changes and do what does work. Sometimes one really positive change creates positive results, but a negative consequence – so go back, re-think, re-plan, and adjust!

The old me is butting in right now telling me “You’ve only lost 25 lbs, should you be talking like this? You’re hardly the picture of success!” Which just goes to show you why I couldn’t accomplish anything before. I was trapped in negative thoughts, fads and trends, and skinny people telling me how to look like them, and then cycling back when I couldn’t do what they wanted me to. 

To summarize:

Pounds lost before November 15, 2013 without “dieting” in my whole life: 0 

Pounds lost after November 16, 2013 without “dieting”: 25

Rock On! 

 

 

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One Response to “Ramblings of a Weight-Loser”

  1. ashleyltd January 6, 2014 at 4:54 pm #

    I should note: This wasn’t the intention of what I sat down to write – I was planning on writing a funny entry about my Journey so far – not what led me to my journey. My introduction took over :). Next time I will go into my tools & support a bit more ❤

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